You know, you are a portuguese when...

Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name.
You have a rooster napkin holder.
Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, José, Antonio, or João.

You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining room,living room, bedroom-on all your tables.
Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and Jesus as your church itself.

You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never

go to church except for weddings and funerals.

You think all university graduates should be called "Doutor".
You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the personstanding there to please move away.

You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but think twice about going to the dentist.
You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.

You insist you wouldn't be caught dead buying Spanish olive oil even though most of the olive oil consumed in Portugal comes from Spain.

You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful "gripe".

And don't let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them.

You get a letter from your doctor saying you can't work because of an "unspecified, ongoing medical condition" and then go on a two-week holiday.

Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lackof money in the country they actually live in.

Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family.

You refer to Portugal as "O Continent".

You have grape vines in your backyard.

You earned over R10,000 for your first communion.

To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau à braz, baby!

A barbeque does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardinhas?

A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had to duck so you wouldn't get hit with flying shoes.

Your parents anticipate that you'll marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.

When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical marine school.

Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm.
You think that 2am is too early to go to bed and that 11am is to early to

get out of bed.

Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.

Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.

Algumas coisas estão exageradas, mas no fundo realmente tem as tuas verdades.

Eu digo: que se lixe! Pois adoro ser portuguesa e adoro Portugal.